Behind the Ashes
by JrOeKnEeRe
Summary: It had been about survival, it still was, less so. They were safe enough. He could finally let himself recognize what could happen. She meant to let the fight go. But there was another pull, not only from what was inside of her, from what she became, but from another man. Season 8. Rick OC Daryl. Rated M.
1. Ease

**.**

 **Behind the Ashes**

The Walking Dead

Rick x OC x Daryl

 **1**

 **Ease**

The last feather fit perfectly.

They looked up at each other and smiled. Carl leaned back against the gazebo and wrapped the bundle together with a shoe lace. He watched her measure the last arrow. They've been working on the project since they got to Alexandria. On their last few runs in the woods, Carl had the idea as he collected firewood. "Charlotte," he called out to her quietly. She was up ahead, distracted by something. Carl watched her turn, fists clenched, one covered her mouth. He thought he saw blood caking down the ends of her dark hair. But as she moved towards him, she hid whatever happened and they started to plan.

"And now, our masterpiece is complete," she handed it over and nudged his shoulder.

He gave a chuckle before tying it all together. "You really think he'll like this?"

"Why wouldn't he? Are you sure you don't want to give it to him together? He's probably in the garage today."

"No, it's okay. Dad's coming," he waved to Rick who had been leaning against a tree watching them. She waved as well. How long had he'd been there?

"Hey you two. Carol's watching Judith for awhile but she needs to head to the kitchen soon. She needs relieving Carl."

"Alright," he bounced off the bench, his dad ruffling his hair. "Oh, Charly, tell Daryl I helped though okay?"

She laughed lightly. "Will do."

Rick pushed Carl playfully towards the houses. He waved him off before running away. Charlotte shook her head and counted the arrows again. Rick wanted to talk to her, clearly. But they haven't been alone like this for awhile now.

"That's for Daryl then?"

"Yeah, I never understood how there's still some left after everything."

"Does he know you're making arrows for him?"

"Probably," Rick ran a hand through his hair. She tilted her head and stood, placing the bundle on the bench. He watched her carefully as she picked one and held it out for him. "Carl did this one," he took it and examined the work. Its weight was even balanced. He smiled as it twirled in his hand. Carl, no doubt, with heavy instruction from Charlotte, did an impressive job. She looked away and moved back to the bundle. She said it before stopping herself. "He called me mom, by accident."

Rick felt his stomach tighten. "It isn't the first time," he handed the arrow back to look over her face. There it was.

She glanced up and looked for concern in his own expression. "He wasn't embarrassed this time Rick," she still didn't see anything. He actually seemed amused and light.

"You've always been there for him, you look after him, I even saw you tuck him in a few times."

"But to actually call me by it?"

"If it bothers you, I'll talk to him."

"Shouldn't it concern you?"

They hadn't spoken of it. He hadn't expected that but the truth came out. He couldn't help himself, "It would have earlier, not now." They stared, knowing what he meant and waiting for a reaction.

But she looked away, took back the arrow, grabbed the bundle and moved to the side. "I should find Daryl before he decides to take off again. He'll need these," she gripped tighter to it and stepped down from the gazebo. Rick followed and grabbed her hand. "It's okay Rick."

She slipped out of reach and walked towards the street. He called out to her. She let him finish. "It hasn't been easy, I know that. Things have changed-"

That was enough.

He let her leave.

She knew exactly what he meant. It had always been about survival, it still is, less so. He wants her to know he's ready. If she was being honest, she didn't know what to do. She's fought against it for so long. It was never the right time. The fight was so strong that she didn't know how to react to him. Across the street, the sounds of tools revving up filled her thoughts. Grateful for it, Charlotte moved closer until she could lean against the open garage door.

Daryl hadn't noticed her yet. He wore his angel winged vest, she caught him just in time. He was leaving soon. The tools quieted, he glanced over his shoulder without reacting. Probably knew before she even crossed the street. She held out the bundle and walked towards him. He looked over it, tilting his head with a grunt. "What, no quiver?"

"You have one."

"On the crossbow yeah but it ain't big enough to hold all em."

"You'll make do," she pushed them against his chest. The smallest hint of appreciation showed in his hidden face. His hair really has gotten long. "At least thank Carl when you see him," she teased, walking over to the bike. It's progressed. Daryl set the arrows on the workbench, his way of thanking her. "Where are the guys at?" He shrugged. "You heading out?" He nodded. "I'll leave you to it then."

She moved but he stopped her. "I ain't goin alone," it was the way he stared.

"Not today Daryl."

"Today," he grabbed his bow and moved them towards the gate. She argued lightly the whole walk but his few words were just as effective. They came up to the gate, Michonne, who guarded this shift, looked them over. "Let Rick know," she simply nodded before letting them through. Charlotte accepted a knife Michonne handed her as the gate closed.

Then they were a half mile out.

She kept quiet. It wouldn't take long. "We should have waited until you finished the bike."

"Quit complaining," he raised the crossbow. She caught herself, again. Lingering on his arm, the way he held it, it always seemed to amplify its definition. She looked away once he turned to her. Knots were back in her stomach. "Anything?"

"You'd know before me."

"Don't start-"

Then she felt it. To the right, close to some high bushes. Not one but four. More than they've encountered in some time. Daryl watched her but didn't see or hear them. She waited. They emerged, growling as they spotted them. There was a reason she didn't want to be out here. But now they've found some. The head of the group growled viciously as it neared.

This one.

She let it happen. It starts in her center then consumes the entire. The walker stopped. The others slowed. In its core, where the infection began. It tilted its head, opened its grueling mouth and turned to the other walkers. She stared into its back. Then it happened. The walker lunged at the closest and tore into its skull, clawing at the brain until it dropped. Then the next and the next. It stopped once it finished. Before it moved around, Daryl shot an arrow. It dropped. Charlotte felt herself struggle as he brought out a rag, poured water onto it and started to clean her face. She pulled away but he held her still. She gripped his arm for more balance. Her nose bled more heavily.

"Breathe through the mouth," he put on pressure. "Quit moving." She kept her eyes on the ground. Her head started to throb. She cringed. He removed the rag and studied her over. She wiped her nose of the remaining blood. "How's your head?" He got an answer as she keeled over and vomited. This usually doesn't follow. She should have eased into it. Daryl warmed her neck with one hand and held her hair with the other. "No reason for that."

She glanced up at him. There wasn't pity or concern in his manner. This is what they were out here for. This is who she was.

When the dead first walked, she'd been bitten. The fever had her, she expected to die. But it went away, after a week of severe vomiting and hallucinating, it ended just as the flu would. Only she changed. The first walker, crushed its own head against a boulder. She thought it tripped. But the second one, she felt it and watched it attack another. She knew they were near long before their shuffling and growling could be heard.

Rick was the first to find out. He saw. Her nose bled and body shook on the warm cement as he knelt next to her. After she left the group by the fire, he followed close. The two of them stared for the longest time. But he helped her up and led her back to the group without a word. The people in Alexandria don't know. They might not be as accepting, they weren't family.

"Come on, sun's gone down," Daryl gave her time, swinging the bow over his shoulder. She swallowed, her throat was raw. It took her longer. He waited until she was ready. The walk back was quiet again. They neared the gate. "We're going back out in a few days. You can't be in here for that long again." It's been like this for over a year, no more than they've all been together. It took far more time for Daryl to speak more than a few words to her, more than usual. She never understood why.

"I know, but you could have given me more of a heads up."

"Stop, you're fine."

Michonne let them in. But she wasn't alone, Rick stood next to her with his hand on his holster, looking over Charlotte's face. "With me, now," he moved away, they soon followed.

The neighborhood seemed empty as they walked through. Rick led them to his house. Carl was on the porch rocking Judith. Daryl waited on top of the steps, leaning into the railing. He set down his crossbow. "Charly," he motioned for her to stop. She meant to follow Rick who moved ahead. Daryl ushered her towards him. "There's still blood," he brought out his water pouch again and moved to wipe it off again. But she stopped him and did it herself. He watched her, she didn't see his reaction.

"Better?" then she looked up. They stared. He didn't answer her.

"Charlotte," Rick walked back out on the porch. He hesitated though in seeing them. "What's wrong?"

She wiped her nose again and stepped back. "Nothing," then started walking towards the door. Carl rounded the corner with his sister bouncing in his arms. He stepped into her gait and caused her to stop again. Judith was reaching out to her. Rick stood between the doorway and held onto the frame. His knuckles tightened. His baby was reaching for her. It's happened before. But they had all been too exhausted from outrunning a small herd. He didn't pay much mind to it. He never did. They were here though. Safe, enough, in this place, and he could finally pay attention. Charlotte merely smiled and asked Carl to stay on the porch. Rick stayed where he was as she passed. He breathed in, noticing the thick smell of the woods on her.

They reached the kitchen. Daryl had followed them and closed the door. Rick just noticed. He leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "Sasha almost took you both down, did you know that? If you hadn't turned, and she didn't see your faces, from the tower- You don't think when you're together, have I ever told you that? When you wander off, in the woods, you put yourselves in danger and never think what might happen if something doesn't-"

"That's not true Rick. You're upset we didn't tell you, I understand. But it's been over a week since we were out there. We're okay, Sasha would have had our backs if something went wrong," Charlotte opened the fridge and gathered two water bottles. She handed Daryl one, who declined, but she held it into his chest. He took it but didn't drink. She nearly downed hers entirely.

Rick watched them. "It's not just that. What if these people went out and saw you? We're trying to fit in here, it's not going as well as it should. I know my head's not exactly in this. I admit I'm having more trouble adjusting than any of you. But come on, we've been through-"

"Rick," Carol knocked on the door. He snapped to her. She apologized but told them Deanna was looking for him.

Daryl took a sip of his water and put it back in the fridge. "I'll be in the garage. We'll talk when your head's together Rick," he moved towards the back door. "Charly," she knew he wanted her to follow him. They needed to go over what happened out there. But Rick gave her the same look. That seemed to do it. Without a word, she left them for the hallway. Up the stairs with a slight limp. On the left of the railing, there was a decent room she claimed as hers when they got here. Daryl stayed in the house next to them, he was never there though. He choose a room that was across hers. Their windows adjacent. He didn't notice.

Charlotte let herself drop. The soft mattress squeaked slightly but molded into her. She wouldn't be surprised if Rick followed her. Daryl would have just left. But the door hadn't opened, she was alone. For however long, she was done with the day. Her mind drifted. By the time she felt herself meet a pillow, that was it.

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 _Thoughts?_


	2. Keep

**.**

 **2**

 **Keep**

Georgia didn't have as true an Autumn as DC. The east coast seemed to have each season at its heaviest. The summer had been too long. It was much cooler than the south. The town let them borrow warmer clothes. Over a clearing, near the gazebo, Carl and Charlotte stood with flannel shirts, surrounded by fallen leaves.

"Should we?"

"We should but I don't know if they have rakes."

"I'll go see," Carl sprinted down the street before she agreed.

She laughed. This is how it should be. The world changed him. But he was coming back. Since they got into Alexandria, he's let himself.

"What's this about?" Rick stepped beside her. He's kept his distance. Carl woke her, against his wishes no doubt. But with fourteen hours of sleep, she felt like herself again. Happier even.

"We've decided to do some yardwork," she smiled at him, much happier. He looked at her, taken aback almost. It wasn't that drastic of a change. "And yes Rick, you can join us. But Carl and I get the first jump," maybe it was a big change. She'd been distant. The exhaustion was entirely gone now though, she couldn't help it. For once, she woke without scanning the woods or sneaking away. Her head hadn't throbbed, her back wasn't sore, it all felt right.

He hadn't expected this. "What jump?"

"Leaf jumping. Carl went to find rakes. But like I said, you have to wait your turn."

The playful glint he once knew was back in her bright eyes. It happened before he could hesitate. The palm of his hand moved and held the side of her face. She flinched slightly but he wasn't discouraged. He didn't pull away.

Despite the chill air, his hand was warm. His gaze softened as she let herself lean into it. "I haven't seen you two like this in awhile," even his voice felt warm in its low drawl.

"I know," it might have all felt right but she'd been fighting this for too long. Before she couldn't, her left hand moved over his and removed it. He didn't stop her. She meant to apologize. Like so many times before when she found herself leaning away as he sat next to her by the fire, Lori on his other side, or when she walked ahead as he clung to Judith with Carl close behind. It all kept her away from him. They couldn't deny what they were becoming. The group caught on faster than they did. They were never far apart. When danger came, he always had her. He kept her away from as much as he could. She let him for the chance to be close. But it wouldn't happen. In the world they were surviving in, it wouldn't let them. And she fought it. There were times when she felt herself losing. But there was always that welcomed distraction. And as she stepped further back, she heard it. Along the street, an engine roared to life, there it was.

Rick almost reached out for her. Her face lit up, it wasn't for him. "I'll be right back, tell Carl to get started," she was gone.

It must have hurt him, to leave like that. But as she rounded the corner, nearly slipping on a few leaves, and found the distraction, she let it go. He'd been fixed on the bike. The motorcycle purred just as loud and strong as a new one would. Daryl must have mounted it not long before she ran into the garage. He barely acknowledged her. The metal even shone slightly, had he polished it? Charlotte looked it over more but soon noticed he'd been watching her and was waiting. There hadn't even been a nod for her to do it but she was already climbing on behind him, wrapping her arms around his leather vest and tightening that hold. Before she secured her footing, he sped them off to the right, denying her any settle. The rush of it kept her blurred to notice.

He turned sharply, causing her to shout out in slight fear. Her front slid even more into his back as he suddenly slowed then picked it back up, testing his work. Charlotte felt her arms tighten then loosen. But as he felt them do so, he'd warn her to hold on by squeezing her hands together. He'd let go just as fast to steer but it was enough. Her body reacted like it had more than she's let herself notice.

They reared a short side street, Daryl tricked the brake. She kept her grip firm. He doesn't mind even if she held too tight. He never says anything. A few winters ago, the first time she rode with him, they sped over a bridge. They were trying to get back to the group before dark. The ice nearly had them if he hadn't done the same thing with the brakes and steered differently. That fear kept her under for the rest of the ride. She even hid her face into his back, refusing to look up until they stopped. When they did stop, her arms ached to the point of contracting. She held him too tight but he merely helped her release and said nothing.

They slowed just before the east wall. He moved the kickstand out, indicating their stop. Charlotte let him inspect it as she got off first and waited. He squat down behind the bike to look over the engine. She knew why she was here, why he let her come with. He usually did this stuff on his own. But they were going to talk about yesterday. She was about to start herself but something caught her to the right. There Carl dropped near the bottom of the wall, from the top, while Eden climbed over after him. She met the ground and was the first to notice them. Daryl had stood up behind Charlotte, wiping his hand of grease. Eden motioned her head towards them for Carl to look. He visibly stiffened and was about to tell Eden something but she had moved away and disappeared behind a house. Daryl called out to him. Charlotte jumped slightly, not expecting him to say or do anything.

Carl moved towards them, his hands dipping into his pockets. The thick black strands of his hair swept low over his eyes. But as he reached them, he looked up and held Daryl's gaze, avoiding hers. She wasn't planning on having him come over. As long as he came back over the wall safe. He would have known to wait for her in the house. She'd warn him not to go out there without any of them. But that would be it. In every one of these situations, she'd hold herself back from doing anything more. She wasn't his mom. She wasn't in that position. She never was nor would be.

Daryl tucked his rag into his back pocket. "You find any rakes over there?"

Charlotte looked at him, how did he know? He watches her, she knows, but he always has the details.

"Sorry," Carl brushed his bangs along his brow. "I was going to ask Eden but she was heading over the wall when I found her."

"You had to follow?" He simply nodded. Daryl moved around the bike, now standing next to Charlotte. Carl glanced at her. She kept still. Daryl brushed against her arm as he crossed his. "Don't do it again," Carl's eyes widened slightly. "Go on."

He looked to Charlotte again but quickly left them without waiting.

She watched him disappear between the houses. They were quiet. She didn't know what else to say. "Are we riding back or should I run off like that too?"

He uncrossed his arms. "You didn't say nothin."

"Rick would have handled it."

"After you would have then act like you didn't once Rick took over."

"Looks like I'm walking then," they hadn't even talked about yesterday. It wasn't over. She knew that but this wasn't something she wanted to get into, with him. She was a few steps ahead until she heard shouting and screeching near the gate. Daryl reached out for her to get on the bike but she took off. Through the small backyards, she ran. The shouts became more distinct and panicked the closer she got. An attack on a supply run. Deanna's son and Noah were gone. Charlotte felt a stab in her chest. She came to a halt before crashing into Michonne who stood furthest the huddle. She wasn't fazed.

Under her breath, the words came out slowly. "They wanted to let you rest."

Charlotte froze. They let her sleep. They left this morning. If she had gone, it might not have even happened. Glenn was covered in blood, exhausted from what he's seen. Dry stains marked his face where he cried. Maggie clung to him despite the blood. Deanna collapsed into her husband's arms. Charlotte looked to Michonne who stood just as still. They couldn't move. Each suspended by their own grief and guilt. The bike engine motored down behind them. Michonne turned to look just as Charlotte's head suddenly snapped to the side. Tara had come to her, slapped her across the face, bringing everyone's attention on them. Michonne acted first and separated them. Tara fought against her, screaming accusations and blame for her friend's death. Charlotte hadn't moved or fallen, she rubbed the side her face and came to realize what just happened.

She didn't bother to hide her reaction. Her eyes watered and throat burned. This was okay. She understood. Charlotte would take the blame, it's okay. But it still hurt. Those who stood close were confused. Glenn and Maggie helped Michonne. They managed to calm Tara and Maggie began to lead her away. Glenn and Michonne moved back to Charlotte but found her being guided away by Daryl. He urged her unto the bike after he revved the engine. They knew where he would take her and would soon need to follow.

As soon as they pulled into the driveway, Rick had moved out onto the front porch. His house wasn't close to the gate. He wouldn't have known yet. Charlotte still felt the hot sting present on her cheek. It must be red. Carol walked onto the porch from the side door. Her expression gave an answer. Judith was in her arms feeding on a bottle.

Daryl glanced over his shoulder, nudging her to dismount. She couldn't move. It took Rick longer to see. Once he did, he stopped and had to grip the railing. Charlotte swung her leg over then and dismounted. If she didn't go to him now, he'd force her off the bike. At the top of the steps, he looked to Daryl who stayed on the bike then to Charlotte who was on the first step.

"I'll go get them," Daryl sped away before Charlotte turned back to him. The group, they needed to gather and talk. They needed to plan. She'll have to be a part of it. To the side, she'll lean against the wall and try to keep it together. Rick would lead the discussion, ending in her quiet leave with Daryl following.

Charlotte reached the top step with Carol moving next to them. Rick stopped her and asked that she put Judith down to sleep. She hesitated but left to do so. Charlotte watched her until she went inside.

"Tell me," Rick brought her focus back to him. She told him but knew little. When she eventually explained her appearance, her voice lowered and quickly ceased. His hand had softly covered over the swelling. She barely felt it until she looked up. Her gaze avoided his throughout. His hadn't strayed. This time, she didn't want to pull away. It relieved her almost to have him touch it. "I'll talk to Tara," his voice even calmed her down.

"Don't, it'll make it worst. Maggie's taking care of her," still, she let him keep his hand there. The faintest tint of his light eyes seemed to darken though. "She's hurting. Noah's gone now. They were close. She needed to let me know. It's okay."

He shook his head and moved his thumb in soft circles along her chin. They didn't break. She knew what he was doing. His face leaned closer. She felt his other hand reach for her neck.

Heavy footing thudded inside the house towards the front door. Carl barged through the door and stopped halfway to them. Charlotte lowered his grip, he wouldn't have. "It's okay," she reassured Carl, leaving Rick's side. Carl stumbled into her arms. "We'll make it okay," she rest her chin on top his head. Against her shoulder, she heard him apologize over and over.

Rick stood behind them, pulling Carl back. "Easy," he smoothed over his son's hair, unsure of what caused this. The bike could be heard again. The group trailed behind Daryl as he slowed down the street. "Let's head inside."

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 _a/n_

 _More?_


End file.
